it's birthday season

if anyone who knows me wonders why i'm the big goofball i am, it's probably a toss-up between environment and heredity. i can't tell which is which, because both of my parents are/were goofy, but in very different ways.

there are several things you should definitely experience at least once in your lifetime. i highly recommend a hot air balloon ride, hitchhiking around a foreign country, kinky sex, a really bad hangover, the perfect romance, and bob newhart's old comedy routines. especially his " the button-down mind of bob newhart".

my dad is kind of like if you took the looks of walter matthau and the comedy stylings of bob newhart. my husband says he reminds him of alan greenspan, but i don't see it.

one of dad's bits of goofy-ness is that we have certain rituals. first of all, his mother taught him to celebrate anything & everything as much as possible, to counterbalance the crappier moments of life. great philosophy, right? sure. there's no such thing as too many parties.

in our family, you don't have a birthday, rather it's the opening of "birthday season", kind of like wabbit season/duck season.

birthday season starts officially on the first day of your birth month and extends past the actual date of your birth to the end of the month. my dad is so expert at this that he can fill the entire month and slop into the next month for those who couldn't manage an appointment to celebrate during birthday season. you get extra points for this.

lest you think it's one-sided, dad is just as exuberant for everyone else's birthdays and can't understand people who only celebrate the one day, or even worse, not at all. he just shakes his head with bewilderment.

now, dad isn't some celebrity, was never featured in lifestyles of the rich and famous or architectural digest. he spent his working life in a three-piece suit as a financial veep. he's got a great sense of humor, he's as smart as alan greenspan, gives great financial and life advice and loves chocolate eclairs and his family, not necessarily in that order.

to say dad has a lot of friends doesn't even begin to cover it. have you ever played six degrees from kevin bacon? well, we play 2 degrees from dad, because it generally doesn't take that many. chances are, if you live in my city, one of the larger metropolitan areas in the country, if you don't know my dad, you probably know someone who knows him, or vice versa. not kidding.

so when dad turned 70, ahem, not that long ago, his girlfriend and i threw him a surprise party and had to weed it down to 70 of his closest family members and friends. seriously. dad knows how to party.

so when we celebrate his actual birthday, there's another ritual: the ritual of the cards. i'm one of those crazy people you see in card stores laughing to themselves. i have to read every one until just the right balance is struck and it sounds genuinely like what i want to say. it's a painstaking process. when i was an angry adolescent and post-adolescent ( i got over it a couple of days ago), some of the cards were, well, reflective of that a little. ok, maybe a lot. but those days are long gone.

dad's about as sentimental as anyone could get. maybe that's why he saved the entire billing cycle from 1955. nah. just a really big pack rat.

anyway, these days i try to find the mushiest card possible while still remaining true to the feel of our relationship. for instance, i don't buy dad cards about guys who fix plumbing or play golf or drink too much. just not him. but the ones about dads who give great advice, always listen to what you say, help you with generosity whenever you need it, have a great laugh, those i get. buckets of them.

see, the ritual of the card goes like this: we gather together, usually at a meal, and i slip him a card. it's usually not my "A" material, might even be a throw-off card. i wait long enough to make him think that's it, then materialize another one (he's a lot smarter than that, but we all pretend). this one might be the "A" material or not. this goes on many, many times. or maybe around six. everyone in my family now does this. dad started the ritual, but we've all joined in. i highly recommend the practice. it leads to lots of giggles even though we all know the ritual. and besides, my hallmark stock is doing really well. just kidding.

dad's birthday is on thursday, august 16th, in case you want to send him a card. happy birthday, dad.