There's a calendar for every taste, apparently

I don't know about you, but I've been shopping for holiday gifts for a variety of relatives, younger and older, seemingly forever this season. It's serious for me, as I like to do careful research about each of them, find out what their taste is, and target something towards that so that their little faces light up when they see their gift. This is not an easy task, and many, oh so very many, don't know how to do this very well, but I pride myself on it. The reason it's tricky is that in order to achieve the penultimate giftitude (yes, I know that's not a word, but I've just made it up, so now it is), you must step outside yourself and put yourself in the giftee's shoes. So if you hate the color orange, for instance, and the giftee adores it, well then orange it is, however much you might naturally balk. You must place your trembling fingers upon that deeply orange object and through gritted teeth say to the poor dear who is stuck working at whatever retail establishment you've selected for your purchase: "yes, I'll have this one, please" and then go vomit somewhere before you wrap it exquisitely for your beloved giftee. If you're very lucky, you may not ever have to see the object again. Of course, if it's not absolutely hideous to you, it's much easier.

Many people don't give it a second thought at all- they just buy what they would want, but that's all wrong. They may very well think YOUR taste is hideous and hate everything you give them. There is a certain relative I am stuck with who shall remain nameless, but they're not exactly my favorite, and I despise this person's taste 99% of the time, along with pretty much everything else they do, and this person has definitely not mastered the art of gift giving, but they are loved and adored by someone whom I love and adore, so... I have received things from this relative and just looked at them as if they must have had some entirely different person in mind when they bought this thing, and somehow mixed up the packages by accident. And then thanked them profusely and graciously through gritted teeth, assuring them that this is just lovely and exactly what I wanted, because one should be gracious about these things. Then I try to think of someone who might actually like this thing and won't come into contact with the relative in question and re-gift. Yes, that's kind of horrible, but I don't lose a wink of sleep over it. Better that than have the ugly useless thing staring me in the face every day. No, not the relative, the gift.

Anyway, I've probably gotten it wrong upon occasion, but it's not for lack of research or effort if I haven't exactly hit the mark, and frequently it was for lack of dosh, cabbage, money, whatever you want to call it, so it was down to two choices: make something, or buy what I could afford. Fortunately, I'm pretty creative, so I usually make something if it's possible. Better to come with something to give everyone than to arrive empty-handed, at least to my way of thinking.

This year, we have been more fortunate than most of the last decade, but we're by no means rolling in it. And for some reason, my retail hell schedule has been even more horrible than in previous years, so my time, while not any more limited than usual, has been scattered to inopportune moments. thus making it quite a challenge to get handmade things and shopping done. So I bought way more things than I would have normally, and didn't make much of anything. I also managed to steer clear of the dreaded malls, thank my lucky stars and the internet.

I did make baskets for everyone, and gave one a variety of lovely teas and a pretty teapot set for one, another got some special coffee and tea from their favorite vacation site with an authentic coffee set from that place, a marathon runner got a gift card from his favorite electronics store and some energy bars deemed the best by marathon runner websites, etc.
Several of them got gift cards because I know they enjoy picking things out themselves and I haven't got enough specific information to do it for them well, but I like fluffing the gift out a bit. A gift card may be appropriate to their interests, but it's a lackluster gift to open with everyone else, so I thought long and hard about what else to include so it's more fun.

Hmm, a calendar suited to their individual interests would be nice, and after further research, I checked online for what was available. OMG! We all know that there are pin-up calendars, but that would be really creepy coming from an aunt, so I didn't even consider those for the boys. Not that I care if they have one, mind you. Nothing advertising anything illegal or immoral, but fattening would be OK, if appropriate to the individual. I searched and searched, and was amazed to find the variety of calendars available. Apparently, there is one for every taste, no matter how vulgar, stupid, weird or wonderful. For instance, by now if you know nothing else about me, if you have seen any of my other posts, you know I love sheep. Maybe abnormal to some, but that's me, so I bought myself one. I can justify my love of sheep. But SQUIRRELS? The little bastards seen everywhere you don't want them?! The ones who steal the birdseed from the birds, eat your favorite garden plants to oblivion, wreak havoc on grandma's window screens? Bite the occasional U.S. president? Carry rabies sometimes?Or is that raccoons? SQUIRRELS? Squirrel of the month? Who would want twelve pictures of squirrels, for gosh sakes? You don't need a picture of a squirrel when they're always right in front of you everywhere you look, do you? Never mind, I don't want to know. To me, the correct approach to squirrels is a BB gun aimed out of your window at the little pests as they ruin yet another window screen. Not that I actually have a BB gun, but I do fantasize about it occasionally. I give them dirty looks and yell at them, though. That's at least somewhat satisfying. But don't even think about getting me a squirrel calendar, unless it comes mounted to a dartboard.