Sometimes I Don't Even Like Me

Have you ever written something to someone in an e-mail or chat room or in a response to someone's blog, with intentions of being witty, or teasing them or just communicate about something you had been discussing? You go about your business, not thinking about it, then when they respond, you find, much to your horror, that what you thought was entertaining or sympathizing or enlightening, was interpreted as insulting or cocksure or too snide or too embarrassing.

I'm pretty sure I remember reading an article somewhere about just such misinterpretations arising with the advent of e-mail. Sure you can make a mistake in judgement about how far is too far, or someone you thought would read and interpret your message as teasing or ironic did not read it that way at all.

The article I read said that without hearing the tone of voice and facial expression of the speaker, the listener or reader doesn't receive the nuances that the speaker intended and so it comes out quite different from the intended message.

There is an old actor's exercise in which they pick a random phrase, like " so good to meet you" or " what's going on?" and say it as many ways as they can. The result is a cornucopia of meanings ranging from a simple greeting to irony to anger to sensuality all the way to utter confusion. Human beings have a huge range of emotions which can be expressed with subtle changes of emphasis when face to face, and these changes in meaning just don't parse in the written word as easily. That can lead to an unhappy interpretation.

You may have guessed that this particular gaffe has occurred in a communication I sent recently, and with my obviously snide and sarcastic sense of the world, you could probably see that train coming. If you're the person who received such a missive from me, mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa.